Friday, November 20, 2009

The Institute was well represented in Kairos XVII

The Saint Ignatius Institute sent ten representatives to Kairos XVII this past weekend, to great success. A grand time was had by all. ULTIMATE FRISBEE, football, much dining and the enjoying of one anothers company, banana battles, and a little reflection when we had time. For all those unable to come this semester, I remind you that there is another Kairos next semester, as well as SII's very own retreat. They are both offer quite a deal of fun and camaraderie. As a veteran of both, I heartily recommend participation in either or both.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Murder Most Foul!

Last Tuesday, November the tenth, at approximately seven hours post-meridiem, at a reading of his will in the library of his estate, Kalmanovitz, Mr. Body collapsed to the floor, dead, of poison in his fine Irish whiskey. The guests in attendance were all likely culprits, yet by the ensuing confusing it was clear that they were not bonded in conspiracy. And so it meant that only one, or perhaps some small conspiracy, amongst them could be responsible. Was it:

Prof. Plum, childhood friend of Mr. Body, who was seen in heated argument with the master before the meeting in the Library? Prof Plum's affections for Ms. Peacock was well known, and he did not hide his jealousy at the two's marriage, and he hid poorly his glee at the two's separation. Yet could no have been guilty of this most heinous crime; for he was with Mr. Body the whole evening, and had not access to the fine Irish whiskey the whole night.

Ms. White, maid to the master, and desperate for a way to pay for her son's operation? She did have access the the fine Irish whiskey all night. But killing her employer would not gain her anything, for why would a lowly serving wretch be in the will of a giant of industry such as Mr. Body?

Ms. Peacock, Mr Body's spurned former wife. Jealous of his new trophy wife, perhaps she killed him out of spite. It even looked as thought she tried to frame Mr. Body's new toy, Ms Scarlet, by hiding poison in her purse. Yet, maybe the poison was left for her to find, in the hopes she would incriminate herself by trying to frame her younger counterpart. Again, though, circumstance exonerates her, for she is of the opinion that a lady should never pour her own drink, and so was never near the bottle or her ex-husbands glass.

Ms. Scarlet and Mr. Green, then, our conspirators! She, Mr. Body's fiance, youthful and selfish, he, Mr. Body's lawyer,intelligent and unscrupulous. She knew she would be in the will, for her lover, MR. GREEN surely told her. Being nearer her age, shrewd Mr. Green would undoubtedly make a better make for the vivacious Ms. Scarlet. And when one factors in the hefty inheritance,
one has an equation for marriage at it's most leisurely - and DAMNED! If we integrate this function, however, we find that the two would be murders were too busy trying to creating life to bother themselves in the business of ending one.

Who could it be, if it were none of these guests?

Only Col. Mustard! Mr. Body's most trusted adviser. He was the one who provided the fine Irish whiskey in the first place! He was the one who would inherit not the estate, but the entire conglomeration which Mr. Body headed! Col. Mustard was the assassin, his only motivation, greed!